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The Broken Piece of Chain
Introduction '- - - - -' Too often dragons see life as just a series of events and phases. To most, life like a broken piece of chain, with a clear start to the broken chain and a clear end to it. Life, what most dragons think, is about moving from one link of the broken chain to the next. Dragons often act as if they can't linger on one link of the broken chain for too long, constantly moving towards the end of the broken chain, looking for some perfect link in the broken chain that doesn't exist. Once a dragon moves on to a different link of the broken chain, they are expected to embrace this new phase, this new part of the broken chain of life, and to never look back and embrace the old. As a dragon travels to new links, memories of the previous links of the chain begin to fade away. Even if the old links sometimes have beautiful memories, or memories that provide wisdom, or memories that make a dragon who they are, they are expected to let go, as if holding onto these memories will somehow cause the beauty, the wisdom, or the importance they hold to fade away, like how the hues of a colorful garment begin to dull as the garment is washed and worn too many times. As the old memories are let free like birds let out of their cages, the end of the broken chain draws nearer and nearer, closer and closer. Dragons often prefer to not let themselves worry about the future or the end of the broken chain, even as it looms ominously in the distance, slowly coming closer like a brewing storm until it is overhead and there is no escaping it. Once dragons finally realize that the end is upon them and the bleakness of the future is all they can think about in the present, they fruitlessly reach out for those old memories they set free. Those memories that could have helped them through the dread, the dread that comes from knowing they'll have to leap off the end of the broken chain at some point, are long gone though, soaring among the clouds where they cannot be retrieved again. Thus the dread that plagues the dying makes death seem frightening and cruel. With the wisdom of the memories they once had though, dragons might find death to be more like just another link on the broken chain, a new phase of life while at the same time not being part of the broken chain of life at all. Even though death is loosely tied to the broken chain of life somehow, death is something different, something more mysterious, something with no start and no end but rather just is. A state of nothing and everything. A state of existence where time is fluid and changes and doesn't have the same purpose or meaning it once did on the broken chain of life. Time, in the land of death, is liquid, is free, and somehow more beautiful than when it is all rigid and solid like it was in the broken chain of life. Nothingness and everything drifting through a sea of time, a sea of beauty. Death can be beautiful, though few realize it before they reach the end of the broken chain. Those who do realize it though, die peacefully, die without the dread in their stomach, die ready to swim in the sea of time. I consider myself one of those dragons. I realize what death truly is. Now I sit here, on the boundary between life and death, ready to fall off the broken chain of life at any moment into the sea of time. Though I have released many of my memories before I realized their significance, I still have a few, and these few I am not letting go of. They will come with me into death, just as they have been with me during life. Past, present, future, they're all interconnected. When I was much younger, I was foolish enough to try and live only in one of them, but I eventually realized I could live in all of them at once. Past, present, future, they are most powerful together. I want to embrace all three of them, as all three of them make me who I am, as all three help me grow. Life is so much more than the broken chain. Life is about discovering yourself and growing your spirit and watching it bloom like a flower. Self-growth is an important part of life. Though the broken chain can be important, sometimes it is better to be than to do. Once I leap off the broken chain, what I did won't matter as much as what I chose to be, as what I chose to be lingers on, even in my state of death, even as I drift through time and the universe. Once I have left the broken piece of chain, my spirit will become part of the sea of time, my memories and I drifting in it. Shaped by the past, present, and future, helping the universe grow and become more beautiful, what I chose to be will always be drifting in time like a piece of driftwood in an endless ocean. Who I am, what I have thought, the perspective I see the world in, will forever and always be part of the universe. I want to be. I want to be part of this endless, mysterious, hardly understood universe. And the only way I can do that is to be. I want my life to be a beautifully mixed combination of being and doing, of the broken chain of life and the sea of time. In this memoir, I don't just want to capture what I did in the broken chain of life. I want to speculate about death and what the sea of time will be like and what the broken chain of life will be like when memories of me are all that will remain, memories of me that will be recorded and then set free. I want to capture my personality and what makes me unique. I want to capture two very different aspects of life: doing and being. It won't just be a record of my life, but a record of who I am, a record of who I chose to be. My life, so much more complex than the broken chain, I will attempt to put in words here, so whoever you are, can understand what it's like to be me. -Rosewood